You land on <DST> and are greeted by two old men. "You must be <PN>," the first says. "Of course he's <PN>," says the other, "who else would he be?" "Oh shut up," the other replies. "We're going to help you out. Come with us to our...um... facility." You enter an autocar with the two old men, who argue the entire way to their "facility." When you get there, they create an ID for you, and replace your name in all Terran computers. They wish you good luck, and send you on your way.
